AP Photo/Lisa Rose

Just in case you've been scrambling to find that perfect wedding gift to FedEx off to Mr. Mayer and Ms. Aniston...Relax.

Despite OK! and Star cover stories detailing upcoming wedding and baby plans, Jennifer Aniston's rep tells us: "Both stories from OK! and Star are completely fabricated. There are no wedding plans for Jennifer, and she is not pregnant."

In fact, we can even tell you why...

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Let's not forget the clearly more naked celebrity of yesterday, Heidi Klum. But comely Kim Kardashian tries to make us forget the supermodel by making like a babelicious Botticelli Venus in the Cabo San Lucas surf.

Sorry, Heidi: One day you're in, the next day you're out.

See scads more skinsational celebs in our Summer Skin gallery.

WARNING: THIS VIDEO MAY CONTAIN LANGUAGE OFFENSIVE TO SOME VIEWERS.

If you can look past the F-bombs flying left and right, Kanye West preaches love in an impromptu sermon during a show this week at Madison Square Garden.

If you already know Kanye's favorite MC is Nas, skip all the mad props at the beginning and jump ahead to about 1:45, where West calls for some of his gay-hating fans to "open their f---king minds" and stop using the F-word. The three-letter F-word, that is.

He goes on to testify from his own personal experience: "You know how many people came to me calling me gay 'cause I wear my jeans the fresh way?" Oh, preach it Rev. West. And tell us more about the fresh way!

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It's great to have Friends. But sometimes all you need are lawyers.

Joining Matt LeBlanc in the fight against ticked off business associates, Lisa Kudrow is now the target of a lawsuit that claims she stopped paying her former manager his guaranteed cut of her earnings after she fired him in 2007.

Scott Howard, who started working with the Emmy-nominated actress in 1991, long before she was climbing the Hollywood food chain as Phoebe Buffay, sued Kudrow for breach of contract Wednesday. He says that, since she gave him the boot, she has simply failed to pay him anything stemming from his days as her manager. (View the lawsuit.)

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Hallmark

Lindsay Lohan's BFF Samantha Ronson turns 31 today, and if you're still stumped as to what to get her—because we all know she doesn't need another fedora—Hallmark has just come up with a simple solution.

How about giving her this card that takes a dig at her gal-pal's troubled past? Surely she would love it, right? After all, who doesn't want to see someone they care about ridiculed for her indiscretions?

What's more, when it comes time to acknowledge the big day of buddies Brad Pitt, Simon Cowell and Jessica Simpson, the greeting-card giant has equally offensive sentiments for you to pass along to them as well.

So much for caring enough to send the very best.

AP Photo/Matt Sayles

Verne Troyer is finding out the hard way that you can't copyright a sex tape that doesn't exist. Or at least, that has no paper trail.

The erstwhile Mini-Me has hit yet another snag in his quest to prevent the sex tape made with former girlfriend Ranae Shrider from becoming public fodder, coming up empty in his search to locate a copy of the X-rated footage, thereby copywriting it and, ideally, preventing its distribution.

Shrider, unsurprisingly, has provided no assistance to her diminutive former better half, with her manager telling the Los Angeles Times she hasn't seen the tape since selling it to an anonymous man who approached her with a wad of cash outside their once-shared house.

"He just said, 'Here's some money,' " Shrider's manager, Holly Bannon, told the paper. "She just wanted to be rid of it, so she said OK."

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Morgan Freeman is a free man once again.

The 71-year-old Oscar winner has been released from Memphis' Regional Medical Center, just four days after his car-flipping crash and three days after undergoing four-and-a-half-hour surgery for his injuries, hospital spokeswoman Kathy Stringer confirmed.

"I left the hospital today just after 12 noon, Memphis time," Freeman said in a statment to E! News. "I'm doing very well. I feel really good.

"I just really, I thank the staff at Elvis Presley [Hospital] and many, many thanks to my many well-wishers. It's great to know people care about you."

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Darren Michaels/Columbia Pictures, Stephen Vaughan/DC Comics

The summer box office continued to cook yesterday, with The Dark Knight express well on its way to blow by E.T., and Pineapple Express off to an unexpectedly fast start.

Having passed Spider-Man for seventh on the list of all-time grossers on Tuesday, the Batman movie took in an estimated $5 million Wednesday, Exhibitor Relations said, bringing its overall domestic total to about $410 million.

By the end of the weekend, the box-office tracking firm said, The Dark Knight  "should be up to at least No. 4" on the all-time list, meaning it would have passed E.T., currently in fourth with $435 million, and positioned itself to take down Shrek 2, currently in third with $441 million.

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"Britney to Play Lesbian Killer in Quentin Tarantino Film," blared London's Daily Telegraph.

The tab claimed the songbird of dubious acting talent (Crossroads, anyone?) was being stalked by the Pulp Fiction filmmaker to headline a remake of the 1965 Russ Meyer exploitation flick Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The story got credulous play all over the Interwebs yesterday, including Daily Variety ("If true, she would be purrrrfect.") and the Los Angeles Times ("Hey, it kinda makes sense.").

And, of course, it's bunk.

E! News has definitively learned that Spears and Tarantino aren't hooking up.

"It's just a silly rumor," says a source close to Tarantino. "A funny rumor. But it's false."

There you have it, pussycat. Another London tab story killed, killed.