Ask the Answer B!tch

With all this gossip about Madonna's marriage and A-Rod's divorce, I need a translator. What the heck is this antenuptial agreement A-Rod has? And does Madonna have one? Does she even have a prenup?
—Murray, Pelham, N.Y.

You will not believe the answers I'm about to give you. They're so mind-blowing I don't think I can share it here on the front page. Your corneas may explode. Do me a solid and follow me into the jump, so's we can protect children and elderlies with weak or sensitive eyeballs.

The definition of antenuptial agreement is...the same as a prenup. Only a different word. Really.

"It's just an old-fashioned way of saying it," confirms celebrity divorce attorney Goldie Schon, whose firm handled the infamous Barry Bonds divorce.

But that's not the cornea-blowing portion of our program. This part is: According to reports, Madonna has no prenuptial agreement with Guy Ritchie.

At all. If her feverish denials turn out to be false, and she and Ritchie are in fact headed for a divorce, she'll be naked to the world, vulnerable in the eyes of family law. Ritchie could end up with quite a pot of dough.

"The issue would be what she was worth at the time she got married, and what she is worth now," says Schon, who is familiar with the British laws that would most likely apply to Madonna and Ritchie. Ritchie would theoretically be entitled not to half of Madonna's entire fortune—estimated at $600 million—but half of the whatever increase in fortune Madonna made during the length of the marriage.

In other words, if Madonna's worth grew by $50 million between 2000, when she married Ritchie in a Scottish castle, and now, Ritchie might be able to get $25 million, if there is, in fact, no prenup.

In not having one, Madonna has set herself apart from most of her fellows in the Legend Community.

"My guess is that upwards of 70 percent of celebrities have them," Schon says. "I was surprised when I read reports she doesn't have one."

Among the celeb couples who have signed prenups: Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Russell Crowe and wife Danielle Spencer, TomKat, and Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.

Now, go put some ice on your eyeballs.

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