We can (almost) forgive Jerry Seinfeld for Bee Movie. But this one just stings.

Microsoft unveiled a new commercial Thursday night featuring the comedian, and to call it underwhelming is an understatement. The ad, which finds a churro-chomping Jerry helping Microsoft founder Bill Gates find the right pair of loafers at a discount shoe store, is so dull, so random and, worst of all, simply not funny, it makes Mac guy Justin Long look like a comic genius. (Although we admit Gates whipping out his Shoe Circus Clown Club card did make us crack a smile.)

Oh yeah, lest we forget, Jer was reportedly paid $10 million to appear in this spot, part of Microsoft's new $300 million campaign.

But that's our two cents. (Certainly not 10 mil!) Have a look and let us know what you think.

Maricopa County Sheriff's Office

DMX is slowly cleaning up after himself. Albeit a bit messily.

The beleaguered rapper was sentenced to time served Thursday in Miami after pleading not guilty to attempted marijuana and cocaine possession, a deal that will allow him to avoid jail time—in the Sunshine State, at least.

He was also ordered to pay a $483 court fine and return for a follow-up hearing Oct. 3. To which DMX could be heard replying, "I ain't coming back on f--king Oct. 3," per MTV News.

But they're apparently going to let him leave anyway.

"You need to tell your client that I've heard the F-word before," Judge Lawrence Schwartz told defense attorney Bradford Cohen. "He can send it to me anytime he wants to come in, if that's what makes him happy, but he certainly didn't help his stature any with what he mumbled as he left the podium."

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Before her Sticky & Sweet concert tour even kicked off, Madonna had already hit the road, driven out of her multimillion-dollar gym by horny construction workers.

Despite spending a reported $24 million remodeling the building next to her Mayfair mansion for a state-of-the-art workout palace, the U.K. Mirror reports that Madge finally moved to another gym after seven months of putting up with construction noise, not to mention the "leering, crude comments and wolf whistles of builders working nearby."

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Ben Dome, PacificCoastNews.com

Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale getting all hyper-creative by naming their son Zuma Nesta Rock prompted our poll yesterday, "Which Celeb Baby Name Bring the Most Crazy?" So far, Frank Zappa and Jason Lee's kids are the big "winners."

But many of you thought we were the big losers for overlooking some truly outrageous star offspring names.

Silly us, we stand corrected, so vote and comment below on this batch of reader-selected bogus baby handles, after the jump.

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Lester Cohen/WireImage.com

It seems Chris Robinson likes to be his own opening act. Literally, as it turns out. The Black Crowes frontman revealed himself to be a multitalented multitasker. While rocking the stage at the Jackson Hole Music Festival this week, Kate Hudson's ex-hubby also showed off his bartender flair, according to Page Six.

Not content to merely be the rock star headlining the event, Chris jumped to the aid of a couple of inept beer drinkers in the front row, who couldn't figure out how to open their beverages.

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Mark Von Holden/WireImage.com

David Blaine may have seen The Dark Knight one too many times.

The so-called street magician will be taking his latest publicity—er, death-defying—stunt to the skies, making like a real-life batman and suspending himself upside down on a high wire in Central Park for three days and nights.

The latest challenge will begin the morning of Sept. 22 and culminate, as all Blaine stunts do, with a live two-hour prime-time special on ABC Sept. 24, this one going by the not at all sensationalistic title of David Blaine: Dive of Death.

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Patricia Schlein/WENN

He may be hangin' at hot spots that require valet service now, but just a few years ago, Gossip Girl hunk Chace Crawford was the guy taking your keys.

Chace tells Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM show that in between a break from attending Pepperdine University and landing his G.G. role in NYC, he was a valet driver—and not even a top one at that!

When Ryan asked Chace if he got to wear a red vest on the job, the actor responded, "I wish. I was the rookie...I was running everywhere."

But don't think Chace's valet gig was uneventful. Aside from a confession that he often stole gum from customers' glove compartments—"a lot of gum, actually"—Chace also recounted his most fearful moment at work...

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AP Photo/Carrie Antlfinger

Finally, a Fonzie that's incapable of jumping the shark. If only he existed 30 years ago.

A statue of Arthur Fonzarelli was unveiled to a Happy Days-loving crowd on Wisconsin's Milwaukee River today, commemorating the 10-year run of the classic sitcom and its most iconic character in the city where the series was set (but, alas, never shot).

Fonzie alter ego Henry Winkler was on hand for the invite-only occasion, as were show creator-director-producer Garry Marshall, stars Anson Williams (Potsie), Don Most (Ralph), Marion Ross (Mrs. Cunningham), Tom Bosley (Mr. Cunningham) and Erin Moran (Joanie), as well as Laverne & Shirley leads Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams. Ron Howard was on location and unable to make the unveiling.

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Paul Morigi / Getty Images

The Jonas Brothers—Kevin, Joe and Nick—showed up for the unveiling of their very own wax figures at Madame Tussauds in Washington, D.C., on Monday.

And while we find the wax replicas sorta lacking in the good-looks department—Kevin suffers, especially—that didn't stop the first 50 rabid fans allowed into the exhibit from pawing at the faux bros. Truly disturbing.

D. Mayer/Fame Pictures

A psychedelic, gender-bent remake of Midnight Cowboy? Not quite. But yee-ha anyhoo!

Hellboy hottie Selma Blair is getting to ready to ride into prime time in Kath and Kim, a remake of an Aussie sitcom about a dysfunctional mother-daughter combo (with Molly Shannon as mom).

Okay, now we've got it:

Gilmore Girls Gone Wild.

Lionsgate

At least that's what Dane Cook wants to know.

The standup comic-turned-actor rants, albeit amusingly, on his MySpace blog about how he's none too pleased with the new poster for his upcoming comedy, My Best Friend's Girl. Most notably, the way his head and certain facial features turned out.

"The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull," he writes. "I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the Bell's palsy thing here? My left side looks like Britney Spears' vagina."

While we suspect this may just be a clever way to promote the flick, something tells us there's at least one graphic designer out there who won't exactly be rushing to see it.